Saturday, August 30, 2014

Video Batrep....

Wow its pretty hard to watch but if you got 19 minutes check out Shawn and Kyle getting dirty on each other.

AM VS BA 1850

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Ever seen a grown man unable to move because his butthole is puckered so tight? I have.... Finished!!!

So you see that intro and go...WTF? God damn Caleb you've been gone for a month and you start like that! I know you hate me. I understand my beautiful GF Cathy shares the same thought.
So I am back from vacation and a little hobby break. I haven't played a game in 3 weeks or painted anything. I took a little time off due to work/vacation and just a general hobby unplug. BTW the beach is amazing. For you neckbeards who tremble at the thought of the sun, exercise, or well lets start small, hygiene. I highly recommend a healthy dose of sand, sun and alcohol to charge the ole' hobby batteries right back up.

So onto the game 1850 Astra Militarum vs Eldar. My opponent Shawn "Overconfident" Mackey. This prick talks so much shit. Of course he is on like a 3 or 4 game winning streak against me. So he got a new FW tank called the Anal Excruciator or something like that. He wanted to try it out. He has also made a truckload of terrain that came out really great. He has been banging out trees like a crackhead steals cooper.

So list wise I brought two 7 man Fire Dragon squads in Serpents, 3 Ten man Dire Avenger squads (2 in Serpents) all with exarch and shimmershields, 2 Farseers, and 2 two man squads of war walkers with Brightlances. Hello list tailoring!!! I know, I know it was a dick move, however after my last attempt of using Striking Scorpions he needed a challenge.

His list was 3-4 infantry squads with a heavy weapons team, like some other heavy weapons guys, and some command guys, a tank commander with punisher gun, 3 more Leman Russ's, Vendetta and a Manticore. You know guard. A bunch of tanks and infantry. So lame.

We rolled the relic.... I hate the relic. I am impatient and the relic requires you be patient. It requires you to at least pretend to be a general. there are only 6 VP points at stake in the relic. First blood, linebreaker, slay the warlord and the actual relic. Hey who cares lets roll some dice.

 This was how we laid out Shawn's new shit. We called being in the trees difficult terrain and it offered a 5+ cover save. Looks good. I hate to say it because he will read and that giant noggin of his will only inflate more...

He wins the right to go first and chooses his side. Total side note. I haven't gone first in a 40k game in like 6 straight games. The deployment on the far right would later prove to be a huge mistake.

I laid out my stuff. I left my War Walkers in reserve in case I didn't seize the initiative.

I know good job taking pics.... from the wrong angle... I'm still new at battle reports, eat dicks... I not new at your mom though... What's that?? Moving on.
First turn Shawn.
He doesn't move a lot. His psychic phase is a joke. He only brought 1 Primaris Psycher. He would not get a power off the whole game. He would either fail, peril or I would dispel it. We talked about this afterwards. You either bring at least 2 or don't bother. Moving on. He fires a lot into my Wave Serpents. He does wreck one and strip a HP from another. Not bad for me I feel good about it.
First turn Caleb.
I try to move a little closer. I'm trying not to get to aggressive yet. That's horseshit you know what I did. With one Serpent down I'm jumping on his ass....
HOLY SHIT ITS 8 AM I HAVE TO GO!! I have a Warhammer Fantasy tournament I am attending!
 And I'm back. I'll tell you about my fantasy tournament and how it went in my next post.
First Turn Caleb cont...
So I'm down a Serpent. I have 2 still with the FD (Fire Dragons) and one with the DA's. My command team of 10 DA's with Farseer are safely hidden. Even though smartass try to snipe them out with a Master of Ordinance. Who he left standing in the open on top a shed.... Yeah he passed away due to grievous holes from scatter lasers in his body... Which also killed enough to cause a morale check on this company commander. I flat out one WS with FD and the other I don't. Overall normal turn for me. BTW he passes his leadership with a 9... Grrrr. He didn't have a re roll either I was praying for a flee reaction.
Second turn Shawn
His Manticore whiffs. His two tanks on the far left both plasma cutioners down another Wave Serpent. Then for the grand finale. I have a Serpent 6" away from his tank commander and his buddy. He unloads everything into this. Did I mention I cast fortune on the serpent earlier? OH, I didn't yeah. That sound is me laughing as he pours shot after shot into it. Doing..... 1 glance. I see his face. Between the sweat and tears I know he is nervous. His Vendetta comes on and let me say this now. I usually struggle with vendettas. I don't take anti air because I am dumb. This Vendetta though would do dick this game. He was really upset. I however was ecstatic due to the last 3 games it put in work. So his turn passes and it wasn't looking good. He also immobilized a Leman Russ trying to get cute moving over terrain. HAHAHA. I laugh like a jerk now because I do this at least once a game.
Second turn Caleb
I unload my FD and make sure my Farseer is within 24" for guide on the FD. Check. I Try running my other FD up to get within range. All I need is a 5" run for battle focus... re rollable... 2" both times... Shit I'm in the open and in trouble there. he has a squad and 2 mostly functioning Russ's.
1 WW (war walker) squad comes on. So wow FD's can do work with 6". They fucking erase those 2 Russ's. He even used "pop smoke" order for a tiny cover save. He didn't save and I exploded one and wrecked the other. The look on his face now is one of SOB.... My WW squad would stun the Manticore. Yay!!! No shooting blast weapons on snap shots!!! I feel good.
Third Turn Shawn
He tries to move his remaining movable Russ but he is gun shy. He is afraid of another immobilized result. So those 2 Russ's and the squad over there unload into the dragons and kill all but 3. Who wouldn't run! Nice! I have 2 WS left and all my troops. Ohh shit this is looking good. Then the  platoons and squads I cannot differentiate between them, seriously aren't they all the same, open up shop on my WW's and FD's. This wasn't as good. WW squad gets erased and the FD's get shot up bad and run. I am not as confident now....
Third Turn Caleb
I unload my other Farseer squad and DA's with the following idea. I am going to psychic shriek them and then open up with the DA's. I only have to kill 7 guys to get to the priest. I knows these fags will run. I know it. So I cast doom on the vendetta. I know its going down... Don't you love when shit is all planned in your head and then it doesn't go right...  Well needless to say I got off Doom and then proceeded to fail 4 checks in a row, one of which was invisibility. Wow now my DA's are exposed and about to get wasted by his immobilized Russ. This was the only squad I was worried about getting the Relic. So I jumped then gun and took a shot at them. A round earlier then I needed to. I am such an impatient player. So Vendetta is fine doesn't even get scratched. Infantry platoon seems no worse for the wear. I do 6-7 wounds, but he makes look out sir's and the Priest is fine. My other WW squad would take out the manticore for good as well.
Before FD's unload...
After...See any working Leman Russ's?

Call this shit foreshadowing.. Remember that failed invisibility?

Hey I had FD's here....
Turn 4 Shawn.
He moves what he has remaining infantry to close in on the objective. I am impressed even though things are looking tough he keeps his eyes on the prize. Nice work sir. So in the bottom picture you will see his deployment mistake. Those Russ's behind the bunker have a awesome cover save but a lot of LOS is blocked and the top Russ got immobilized turn 2 scaring him. So those two Russ's open up on my DA's with Farseer that are right by the Relic... Yeah that would cause a panic test which I of fucking course failed... You'll notice I haven't mentioned his psychic phase hardly at all. Well he didn't get one power of all game. Not one. I either Denied it or he failed. Anyways his Vendetta goes into hover mode because he is going to fly over all available targets and frankly he is on the ropes. He knows it and I agree its the right move. He cannot kill my last two serpents and he is frustrated I can tell. He is also slightly drunk though. He is smiling and laughing though so all is well.
Turn 4 Caleb
I drop that Vendetta and its awesome. It lands right in front of the relic and now he has no way to get there. It cuts off his platoon and command squads form getting there to contest. I ignore the Russ's behind the bunker and continuing shooting at troops. I move 2 Wave Serpents and a full DA squad to within 3" off the relic so I know I have the game most likely. I shoot up another infantry platoon with my remaining WW and then charge them. He has one turn... One turn with minimal shooting to wipe out at least 1 Wave Serpent and a full DA squad to have a chance. He has one squad of guys who could make it to the relic to contest so we play it out.
Seriously who parks this way??!!!
Turn 5 Shawn
His remaining Russ's do not kill the WS or the DA squad. He tries to move a chimera close to the relic. This is funny to me. It drives through terrain going all Brapp brapp brapp... and pops a wheelie on a hill. Yeah of course he passes his dangerous check. Jerk. CC with the WW doesn't go well. I am working them over and he does a glance. That I save. They run. I catch them bye bye...
Turn 5 Caleb
We call it. I have the game pretty soundly. 4-0 me. I had First Blood and the Relic we shake hands and then chat about 40k. Life rocks!
One of Shawn's guardsmen shot himself when he heard they lost...

This is me accepting the surrender of the Astra Militarum forces. Faggots... You never surrender!!
So I know this was long and let me say something real quick. I love WFB a lot. I cannot get enough of how good a game it is. Also I know I am a jerk for not going to the game day. Moving on. I will be posting some pics and quick reports about the WFB tourney that I went to. Where I won best painted no mind you! Hell yeah!! All that hard work paid off!! $15 dollars, shit I'm about to open my own painting studio called "I hope you don't want your shit anytime soon studio..."
See you around the way....


Friday, July 11, 2014

Batrep!! Batrep!! Read all about it!!!

So Wednesday night My man Shawn came over and we would throw down 1750 points of Astra Militarum vs my beloved Eldar. I'm gonna be straight up this was a tense battle. Dice were rolled, rules were debated, fists were thrown, hookers were buried, models were killed, objectives were secured, coke was snorted, guns were discharged, psychic checks were failed, perils did occur. Obviously some of that may not have occurred... I never debate rules. I'm always right.

So anyways he showed up with some list where I couldn't make heads or tails of what the holy hell was happening with it. Then I showed Shawn Battlescribe and how wonderful it is. Seriously it is amazing. I much prefer it to army builder.

So I rolled with a Iyanden style force. I have a hard on for my Wraithguard lately. They have been doing so good for me. I know its not a lot of bodies but not being wounded on 3's and being forced to save 64 wounds a turn makes them amazing. It reminds me of my friend Kyle picking up Blood Angels, he loved the fluff don't get me wrong, however he was tired of T3 5+ armor save. I feel his pain. Even though Eldar are pretty much the most OP army in the game. I digress. So I took 3 squads of WG, 2 with D-Scythes and 1 with Wraithcannon. All in Wave Serpents, normal kit as usual scatter laser, holofields and shurican cannon. I took 2 Wraithknights. 1 stock and 1 with Suncannon/scatter laser. Then for good measure I took 3 Spiritseers.

Shawn rolled in with 3 Leman Russ, 1 Vanquisher and 2 Plasmacutioners ones. 1 Vendetta, Manticore, 3 squads of dudes, 1 squad of vets, 1 heavy weapons team (lascannons), 2 primaris psychers and a company command squad. Ohh there was a Chimera somewhere in there as well. So yeah a bunch of AV 14 and I have minimal answers for it. Ahh what's life without challenge.

Roll off was won by him, we played crusade 5 objectives, hammer and anvil. My absolute least favorite way to play fuck around with AM. They have the guns to reach out and touch you. I did not in this list. I have 7 S10 shots. 7. 7. 7. 5 with a 12" range. Gee wonder what my happy ass has to do?!

Turn 1 Shawn:
He proceeds to pour a dump truck full of dirty heroine needles into one of my Wave Serpents. Doing... 2 HP's!! Seriously he put a lot on it and did shit. Total side note. If you have Eldar buddies who use jink with holofields please hear this. The +1 from the holofield only takes effect AFTER you have fucking moved. Stop cheating people. I bring this up because later when I would be saving on 3's Shawn would ask why it changed. Anyways he put 3 tanks full of shots on it and the manticore and just rolled well like Kyle normally does. 1's and 2's. Really lame shooting phase for him. Don't worry my turn 1 will blow your pubes off!
Turn 1 Caleb:
I would flat out all 3 Wave Serpents. I would then shoot my stock WK at a tank inflicting zero god glances or pens....My other WK would fair a little better by killing 56 guardsmen. I mean 6... womp, womp, womp....
Turn 2 Shawn:
He sees what I'm doing and moves his 2 Russ's away from me. The WS in the middle had 2 HP's stripped away and I was leaving it as bait. So more amazing dice action here. He does 2 wounds to my stock WK and that's it. He got prescience off on one psycher causing a perils while he was at it. The other failed. His Vendetta came on and did the wounds to my WK. Shit is now starting to get tense in my garage. I'm close to his shit and he knows it.
Turn 2 Caleb:
I empty the WS on the right in the pic of its WraithScythes and eradicate those guardsmen hiding beside the building. I mean I made them a grease spot. WS on the far left lets its Wraithcannon guys out and we proceed to do one damn glance on a Russ. WK stock would really rack up some damage here with 2 hits and no FUCKING glances or pens again. WS in the middle disembarks and makes the bad lascannons go away. Ohh and I made a dangerous terrain check for the first time ever!!! Seriously guys I made one! Like 50 fucking games without passing on a WS and I finally did!!! On a 2. Lesson here stay the fuck away from hills.
Turn 3 Shawn:
So he would double down on the perils and kill his 1st psycher and do some wounds to his company command squad. Pretty funny. He would wipe out my stock WK with some good shooting. He would immobilize the far WS with a single pen. I fired my Serpent shield earlier at the Vendetta I had no outs it was down. He would also wreck the middle WS by stripping its last HP away. He killed I think 1 wraithguard between all 3 squads as well. Let me tell you though this motherfucker was sweating. Nervous. I was right there and he couldn't do shit to get away.
Turn 3 Me:
I would do some good stuff here. I got Voice of Twilight off and used it well. Pay attention because me over relying on this would sting later. I would kill 1 of the Russ tanks and then proceed to kill off his last regular squad of 20 dudes. It was magic. I think the other Russ was stunned as well so it couldn't shoot its template weapons. Score me. I would also then drop Psychic Shriek on his company command squad killing all of them but the commander who had 1 wound left.
So this is the last decent pic I had I was pretty fucking drunk after this.
Turn 4 Shawn:
Its gets fuzzy here. I know he periled on his other psycher causing a wound to him and losing a power. His Vendetta would shoot up my last WS pretty good. His Manticore ran out of missiles but it did some work this round. It had 2 blasts and killed off several WG and wrecked my immobilized serpent. Great way around jink btw. Target the unit beside them and pray for scatter. If you ain't targeted you cant declare jink!! yes In know some of you are thinking "hey immobilized shit cant jink". Well yes I agree and I don't take advantage of this loophole but technically find in the book where it says you cant and that jink requires previous movement. It doesn't.
Turn 4 Me:
I whacked the Russ in the middle and the Chimera. Thank god. I had to charge the Russ to kill it. Hello witchstaff with armorbane!! Paint in the ass AV14 is I tell you. I didn't have the shots to deal with it. It would almost cost me the game. I remember at this point I had zero to shoot at the Vendetta with. Good times there. I do recall a failed charge by my WK against the Vendetta (it was in hover mode asshats settle down). It stock out because it was a 4" fucking charge. 4" its arms were literally touching the god damn thing. Yet I failed the charge. Damn you dice gods. Damn you to hell. So in this turn I would fail both my Voice of Twilights. I need that to get back to the objectives. Game was getting close to ending and I wanted to make sure I won.
Turn 5 Shawn:
So now in retrospect we though it was turn 6. Drinking makes games funner!!! It wasn't...I don't think anyways. His remaining psycher would peril... again. Killing himself. 4 straight turns 4 straight perils. 2 dead Primaris Psychers. Serves em right. Stupid humans should not mess with powers they don't understand. Se all he had left was a platoon command squad, a manitcore with no missiles and a company commander with 1 wound left. He would kill 2 WG I think but he was limited. Hell it was so bad he had to shoot the flamer on the Manticore.
Turn 5 Me:
I should record these matches and watch them over. I'm kinda clueless what happened here. Shawn in new so I started taking to him about end of game strategies. I started explaining the ways we both could win. We didn't actually finish the game it was 11pm and I was beat and lit. I think currently at that point it was a 7-7 tie. Had I finished though I could have pulled it out. Failing the last VoT really screwed me there. So here are some pretty pictures from Shawn to keep you pacified. Enjoy.

So was this a good Batrep? I don't think so. I really cant remember shit of turn 5. Impressive. Shawn said it was the best game of 40k he has ever played. He loved the regular missions. I have been doing  Maelstrom missions with him because I am usually pretty bored with regular ones. However this time it was good. It let him focus on all of this army rules and let us take the game at his pace. I always forget he only has like 8 games in. He isn't as experienced as myself. I got to remember he is still a student of this and I am a bad teacher if I don't let him learn.
See you around the way...

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

My Minotaurs are all done!!!

So if you have been reading my blog you know I man crush on GW's Minotaur model. Its a little gay my obsession with these hunky, bloody, hateful, rage fueled, murder train that are Minotaurs. I really like the model. I know what your thinking. "Don't ever touch Caleb's Mino's they for sure have semen on them...". Jerks they do not... have much at all on them I aimed away...

Lets reel this back in. So I have all mine done. 15 minotaurs, 1 doombull and 1 taurox. That's 17 total if you went to school here in the Ohio Valley. Its my first completed fantasy unit so I am pretty proud of them. I've only got 3 games of WFB in but I dig these sculpts a lot. They are super easy and relaxing to paint. A lot of dry brushing, shade washing and only some small detail work so they don't drive me crazy. Unlike my Eldar which I find maddening to paint. I digress.

So the idea I had was pretty simple. Beastmen. Beasts, animals, variety, lots of species or races if you will. Numerous ethnic groups, diversity, a lot of colors all pretending to be united to kill other cultures . Kind of like America but without all the shitty hip hop and country music (here's looking at you Kanye West and Luke Bryan). So with that I painted them in batches of three. I kept the skin color the same on all three at a time but would change little things. Armor tones, hair color, accent tones on leather etc...

The bases were a mix of red, black and a yellow sand colors I think 4:2:1/2 was the ratio. I didn't measure who the fuck am I lying to? Then I only let the glue set for 30-60 minutes then I applied Agrellan Earth from GW. Applied thickly it cracks not only itself but the basing mix as well. I al wicked happy with the results. Drop a little lichen for that wasted earth look and BOOM mother fucker!!!

The pimps asses????

So the banners I find embarrassing. I am not a artist have never claimed to be at all. It was the best I could think up. The one with the runes was my GF's idea. Pretty and clever better watch out for that one. Love you honey! The ones with the weird bull horn thingy go bob well that was my idea. Stop laughing!!
So some highlights I learned from these guys. The sculpts make them easy to paint. A lot of deep recesses for the washes to lay in. TO get the flesh, tanned, brown hide looks took a lot of layers. I needed a lot to show through to give it depth. A little is a lot with dry brushing. Damn I cant count the number of times I over did it. Only to be forced to go back and unfuck what I did. Blood for the Blood God is awesome! Makes blood effects so easy even for a moron like me.
In games played I squared off against Kyle in a 2500 point WFB match. We rolled mission 2 I think. He whooped on my ass bad. Highlight of the game is watching a 800 point Minotaur/Doombull unit go FUCKING RUNNING FROM FUCKING SKELETONS!! Oh he had a 501 point Vampire Lord in there too but I can only see FUCKING SKELETONS KILLING MY MINOTAURS AND MAKING THEM RUN like ARVN soldiers during Vietnam. Lesson learned. Always charge when you are Beastmen. You will lose combat if you get charged. I still kind of hate WFB. Its so clunky to me. I'm trying though. I really am.
In a few weeks Kyle and I are going to demo WFB for Martin's gaming group. Should be fun. I am basically taking the same list. I just need to play smarter. I am also going to take my Iyanden Eldar list that did well for me. That's all for me gents and well no ladies that read this...
See you around the way...

Sunday, June 29, 2014

These Minotaurs are speaking to me!

So if you have read my crap before you know I have a Beastmen army. If you haven't read my crap before well, I have a Beastmen army. I have played them maybe three times I think. Once with Kyle for sure and once at Legions for sure. I am not an experienced WFB player by any means. However I love these damn models. Ok I do not love the chariots, Razorgors, most of the named HQ's and Centigors. The Gors, Bestigors, Ungors and most of all my beloved Minotaurs however are fucking top notch. I'll have words with anyone who disagrees... Words cuz lets face it I'm not coming to your house to punch you. It's far away damn it!

Let me take a second to same something here. I read a good bit of crap talk on these models. Many do not care for them. I am not one of those people though. Some folks like the Mierce or Scibor versions better. I am not one of those folks. Let the pics do the talking.

Exhibit A for the court: Scibor
These guys look... well like they are really in touch with their sexuality. Towards guys...
Exhibit B: Mierce
So you are telling me that between the middle one with a Down Syndrome and the pirate on the end are better then exhibit c?
Exhibit C: GW/Painted by me

The above two exhibits have better paint jobs but stupid looking models. GW's are better!
So I have been busy banging these guys out. I'm up to 9 total Minotaurs, 1 Doombull and 1 Taurox the Brass Bull. I really want to do a WFB demo game at the next game day Martin is having. I would also like very much to start playing in some tournaments at Legions. It'd be good for me to roll up there and beat some ass. Not on the gaming table but in the parking lot afterwards. You know when I am being a sore loser and taking it out on people who don't deserve my bullshit. Cuz its totally a fair fight, me former US Marine against random nerd who hasn't been punched in the face since high school, which would have been earlier that week most likely. I need a therapist... or more beer.
Jesus I just noticed my oldest son's head in in those pics. Nice. I have skills. Triple threat I am. Obviously great grammar (not even I kept a straight face on that), mediocre painting skills, below average IQ, shitty judgment on the gaming table and a piss poor attitude if I lose. Was that three?
Also I played a game this week against Shawn. He is my NEWB. He plays Astra Militarum and is a really solid painter for someone with no background in the hobby. We played a 1800 point game. Another learning game for him, he only has like 6-8 games in total. This why by far the biggest game point wise he had played. I took a very important thing away from that game. I need to slow down, not everyone has as many games as me. I screwed him up on like 3 turns of his rushing him. Bad teacher!! At least I caught it. I hope I was better about it in previous games. Lesson learned.
Total side note. I took Karandras and some wraithaxes. It was funny. I assaulted a 20-25 man strong platoon and butt fucked them for three rounds. Sadly the butt fucking ended there when he cast misfortune on him... Ohh yeah totally nerfed that power the internet says. Ummm fuck no it didn't. Rending from everyone that shoots at the target. That's not right!!! OP! OP! OP! OP! Sky falling!! Over reaction rant!! Whatever those tools on dakka do. Anyways its a good power. I know the re-rolling failed wounds is nice and all but rending? That was good Shawn took him down with it right before he was getting ready to charge and violate his company commander.
Wow I just re-read this blog post.... Nice segue... From Minotaurs to partial batrep. Well that's all that good learning I have had over the years..
See you around the way...


Thursday, June 26, 2014

Master Craft Game Day

So this last Saturday I got the privilege of playing in my friend Martin's (you say it in your head to huh the tv show intro I know you do) game day. I got to meet like 6 new people who play. It was a cool experience. Most everyone was new to the game with the exception of Martin, Myself, Kyle and another cat Jared. Martin took the time to book a little community center for us all that would accommodate bad language, dork talk of all manner and our foul gamer farts. I know what a cool place. It was a fucking church... with no pews. Don't ask I don't understand.

So it was really fucking far from my house in Steubenville, Oh. Yes I live there, you know where, that place where the football team rapes a girl... and its her fault. In the football teams defense she kind of had it coming.... I actually heard that from a PARENT. IN FRONT OF THE HIGH SCHOOL, AS WE PICKED UP OUR 5-10 YEAR OLD CHILDREN. Did I digress? My bad. Anyways so it was far. No biggie my favorite local gaming store is far too. Legion Hobbies and Games, Old Perry Highway Pittsburgh, Pa shameless plug.

So I show up about 25 minutes late because backwoods country traffic and my snooty Honda Hybrid don't agree with each other. Actually I have 3 kids I'm late to everything. Martin already had 4 tables set up and I had some cool missions already made. We spent about a 1 hour playing Jewish geography and lobbing dork questions at one another to get a feel for each other. Everyone seemed cool. Even Jared who I had a FB argument with about a mission I designed. Yes grown men arguing about mission for plastic men. I know I real mature, huh, Caleb. So we apologized to each other, shook hands and gave each other hand jobs to make it ok. That isn't entirely true. I didn't apologize.... I'm hilarious.

So I took a mostly Iyanden style Eldar list at the 3 point levels we all agreed on. It was 4 squads of Wraithguard in Wave Serpents (2 with D-Scythes), 2 Wraithknights (1 stock, 1 with suncannon/SL) a Farseer, 2 Spiritseers and 4 Hornets. I thought it was pretty solid without being over the top. Understated slightly. It was a MEQ rape list. I had to call the local sheriffs after my first game. I am now registered on several "sex offender" lists because of what I did.

Sexy I know...

So my first game was against Bob. He was playing Dark Angels and a Imperial Knight. I thought the IK would keep him viable. Not the case. We stopped it after the top of the second turn. I went first and preceded to wreck his whirlwind, 3 rhinos and kill some bikers turn 1. His turn he wrecked a Wave Serpent. Turn 2 I killed the IK, the remaining bikers and was poised to eradicate this 2 remaining tact units and terminators. It wasn't even lucky or unlucky rolling it was just the hardest counter to a MEQ list I could have brought. The Wraithguard with D-Scythes erase units. Like they never existed. One 2 man squad of Hornets outflanked and lit up his IK. Eight S8 AP2 shots from the side/rear with no cover available. Yeah.... I'm sorry.

I did actually feel bad. It would be Bob's only game that day. He had to leave early, so I'm a jerk. So we had time to kill and I watched Kyle's game and then these two new guys Will and Brian's game. 2000 point game for beginners took 5 hours. It was a ragtag Eldar list against, wait, its the biggest jerk move ever, 3 fucking monoliths. I know you're thinking, "Monoliths aren't all that" and I agree but when you are playing someone with the following list it is. Harlequins, Wraithblades, Firedragons, 1 Falcon, Wraithguard with D-Scythes, and some Warp Spiders. In Martin's defense he had no clue that matchup would go down but I renamed him to Martin T.F.G. White after that.

2 of 3 Monoliths... The other would deep strike in later... Martin is a jerk!

Kyle had a tight game of his Dark Eldar against Tau where he lost on points but the other guy had 2 models remaining. Jink is bad hmmm kay... He can jink, save his transport and then open fire with the models inside the open top transports. He seemed shocked how good it was.

My second game was a scorcher against Jared. He played a Tau list with 2 riptides, 2 broadsides, a truckload of crisis suits, a bunch of kroot and the markerlight shooter guys. We played a custom mission that was basically static objectives and FOC slot kill points. Vanguard strike, he deployed first, me second, he went to go first and I stole the initiative.... Ohhh shit!!!

Actually it was a close game. I started hot and jumped to a early lead (model wise). I then made some poor choices with Wave Serpents and suffered some losses. I also kept charging my Wraithknight into combat and almost lost him to overwatch. Basically I was trying to bully him and it was backfiring. He played solid and kept his eye on the prize and we ended it in the bottom of turn 5. I was up 7-5 and he couldn't come back for a victory. I had eradicated all his troops while 3 of 4 of mine were in prime scoring position. It was a good game. No one had hot or cold dice. Also no one did anything tactically that was so poor it cost them the game.

Overall it was a good little get together. I was pleased. Everyone was pleasant except myself because I'm a fucking jerk. I think everyone had fun and I look forward to doing it again. The highlight of the day was the last game between Kyle and Tim. Blood Angels against Tau. I didn't see it all but it was quoted as "the funnest game of 40k ever played". Now I am already back to painting Minotaurs for my Beastmen I want to do a demo WFB game at the next get together and Beastmen are so pretty painted.

Check out Martin's FB group.

See you around the way....